September’s Surrender

The fall equinox brought me back to my favorite local park to plant blessings in the earth’s womb. After processing many layers of ancestral and karmic residue, tender connections and simple moments allowed me to see what was real and solid for me as the dust settled. I knew it was so prior, but the past warns and deceives as it comes back around for resolution. It helps to stay grounded in who we are and what is truly real in our life.

I was invited to sit with the elder tree I call Grandmother. The ceremony started with an outpouring of gratitude. She has reached out and held space for me in my deepest and darkest moments of transition and transformation. Walking the path of unconditional love is not always sunshine and rainbows. Souls that choose this path, often go into the darkest places to find, and shine their light. It is from these reformations that medicine, inspiration, and higher resolutions are made possible and tangible in form. One must often be in the energy of something to fully acknowledge, address, and shift it. It starts that way at least, until enough progress is made, and energy is mastered.

I explore my journey on the path of true love in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. In it I share how I entered the path through a trauma in my marriage that I was able to shift from an inner journey of self-love, that was then mirrored in my relationship. As unconditional love, I was guided to meet every circumstance with love’s virtuous aspects consistently, regardless of what showed up. It was very challenging to my ego. My pride was humiliated, hurt, and in a seemingly weakened position for some time. Truthfully, I had lived in that position for a long time, I was just finally forced to confront it. I was also forced to confront the ways I gave my power away in relationship, the ways I ran away from and numbed myself and my feelings, the ways I was unsupportive, ashamed, and disappointed in myself. I am still removing walls and defensive mechanisms inside. I still address negative expectations as default settings from accumulated past experiences. It is an ongoing spiral of energy refinement that allows me to access more of who I really am at the core of my creations.

At this point, I remain in awe of the power of love. My commitment has brought me to unveil the worst truths and shadows in my reality. It has exposed unhealthy attachments and led to closures in significant relationships. Love leads one through loss and allows one to see it as a necessary ingredient for expansion in creation. The essence of love remains, as the forms and alignments change.

Love is not worried about looks or being understood. Love is about being in truth and integrity, which can be perceived differently from various angles and viewpoints. Following love’s guidance has served me well. It has created profound shifts and changes that continue to ripple out positively. The more I embody the change and allow it to be immediate and real, the easier it becomes. It is only challenged when my past thought forms and emotional layers try to interfere. It is hard to believe that this can be simple and easy when we encounter the collective healing purges creating chaos on the world stage.

This is where my relationship with Grandmother has been so precious. Her roots run deep. Her space is held with patience and wisdom from bearing long-term witness.  As I struggled with toxic human patterns and relations, she just loved. As I cried, as I apologized, as I felt horror, shame, guilt, despair… she loved. She strengthened this in me. She taught me how to stand firm in loving silence, even while I hurt, while I was attacked, while I was in anger, while I was feeling injustice. I could feel all, but I did not have to return or respond in kind. I could hold the space for truth, even when confronted with those that couldn’t see or understand it. I could love the stumbles as much as the triumphs. I could love the ME that was hidden, ugly, and mean. I could love the HE that I thought didn’t see me, couldn’t feel the love I really wanted, and couldn’t be emotionally available while in the same forms of denial and escape from himself. I could forgive what I struggled to forget. I could witness myself in many stages, many misunderstandings, leading to many things I would later realize with regret. I could accept them and keep going and trying again.

The path of love has deepened an acceptance and understanding of myself and others, allowing me to feel safer in relationships in ways that used to terrify me. As I open up, I see it reflected in others. I see it in all life forms. The depth is felt everywhere I go. There is no stranger, and there is no aspect undeserving of love. I can simply be love, and leave everyone to their own timing, guidance, and process, without trying to inappropriately attach or interfere. The greatest leaps have taken place in myself, my life, and my relationships when I detached from detailed outcomes or expectations, and gave them freedom. Freedom is an agent of love itself.

 

 

 

Before I went to see Grandmother, I had celebrated my 47^th birthday. My husband and I spent a magical weekend in New Orleans. It had been years since we went out there. It was the city that hosted the experiences of our fall. I was a little nervous going back there because of the memories and versions of us that haunted me. This time, I was pleasantly surprised to experience a delightful new version of it. I knew our trip was the consummation of a story that’s ready to be released. The rebirth was validated in a piece of art we both connected to on Magazine St. titled, “From Nothing,” at Terence Osborne’s gallery.

We have both changed so much, so our reflection in the city obliged. We experienced kindness, joy, and validation through others and our circumstances. I was overcome with gratitude and grounded that into the city as much as possible. I was additionally blessed on my actual birthday with 47 red roses. I immediately felt the rose as the symbol of our journey. I knew the path of love and transformation that we shared in the rose, with all its thorns and imperfections, both dismantling and all-encompassing. It was the offering I would make for the equinox: a beautiful blossom arising out of a surrendered pride and balancing of blades.

I placed my TRUE LOVE offering in Grandmother’s womb, in the earth’s womb, in the cosmic womb, in the womb of creation. We are all connected. We are all love embodied. Our connections and unions are sacred; love in all its yearnings and efforts is innocent. Everything can be brought to it, fully surrendered, and made whole. Nothing is too lost, too damaged, or irredeemable. Love is our true home.

I then placed blessings in all wombs and hearts, asking for a restoration of the heart connection in all. I asked for all to experience love from their divine spark, even if it was only the tiniest of stirrings available at this time. Love needs more demonstrative foot soldiers on the ground. Love is calling us back to ourselves, out of the nonsensical reactive distractions in the world. Love is turning the heat up to lead all back to their own counsel and connection. Love will continue to incite frustration and failure in the pathways of distortion. Earth is reclaiming her divine inheritance and position as love in the higher realms. Those wishing to live on her upgraded soil will need to align to the higher dimensional version of themselves. We do this together. We create the new by becoming the energy we wish to experience or manifest in form. We then attract our circumstances according to the energy we are transmitting. Those seeking peace in their lives, must become it. Those chasing love in the wrong places, will be led to face the inner conflicts and illusions of their own making. There will be no respite or rescue externally, that does not have an origin within. The good news is, we designed the elements of our incarnation here, and are guided and supported on a soul level through its entirety.

We are here to rise empowered and sovereign in love. We are not left in illusions and distortion indefinitely. We have compromised ourselves long enough. We have mistakenly normalized our worst feelings and behaviors as our true nature, and designated love, compassion, courage, and ingenuity as a rarity. Prepare to have your world flip. Consider the truth is the opposite of what you know. Let yourself not know and be curious, excited, inspired, and guided in each moment. Humanity is expanding beyond its previously set limitations and conditions of possibility. Love is calling us each to pave new pathways of engagement and experience. We are to imagine and fulfill our highest potential instead of repeating old historic or prophetic expectations.

We are being rewired and expanded in upgrades of light. September has been a harvest on many levels. Some delivered surprising endings, some we knew were in route, others were returns on things we seeded long ago. We are being pulled increasingly to live in the flow state of creation. To learn to let things go with more ease and grace, knowing that another aligned energy and opening is arriving in its place.

We are additionally experiencing the mind’s ability to exhaust itself,  so we can restore feeling back to its proper place in our intuitive guidance system. We don’t always need to mentally know why something is not for us. We are better informed as we allow and ground feeling and awareness back into our bodies, to then learn to trust what our energy is telling us. The next phase of life on earth reinstates love, joy, freedom, and compassion as foundational principles of creation and experience. We want to feel every bit of our authentic frequencies as they return to the earth plane’s bandwidth of creation.

Forgiveness is another aspect of love that is relevant to these times. Can we imagine what life on earth is like when all is forgiven? When all are free to express and create their heart’s true desires without fear of judgment, persecution, or recrimination? This too, is to be embodied, enacted, and lived here in these tumultuous times, as a means of birthing and grounding it into physical expression and possibility.

Forgiveness is a central theme for me in this life. I still encounter challenges, mostly in forgiving myself. Forgiveness is a commitment. It is something we must open ourselves to,  and be willing to change the energy we are in with a person or situation. It isn’t about exonerating someone or approving of an event that was hurtful. It isn’t to justify a wrongdoing. Forgiveness is a mechanism of love that shifts the energy of an event that’s stored in the body. Holding on to anger and righteousness might feel good for a time. It may feel like strength and help delay processing the more vulnerable parts of the hurt.  It is however, corrosive to carry, and creates blocks and disease in the body. I have personally felt the lightening of forgiveness in a very physical and tangible sense. Forgiveness uplifts and frees energy, additionally allowing for a new perception point and higher understanding. Forgiveness severs attachments and cords to lower frequency energy or beings, freeing one to a new higher experience. It is far more than a philosophical or moral concept in its application.

To become and experience unconditional love here, at a time when fear, judgment, divisiveness, and shame are the more common pathways and choices employed, has required me to accept unlimited forgiveness as a path as well. The deeper I delve into myself, my past, my other incarnations, and my other dimensional aspects, I realize I have played many roles in both dark and light. I have understood what escaped me in understanding and awareness at times, that allowed and encouraged me to hurt others, is what befalls most here. Being born and conditioned with limited and ignorant settings, in cultures that reinforce survival and competition strategies, help maintain it. Any of us, given the right set of circumstances and deprivations, would find ourselves willing to compromise and question many of our cherished notions, ethics, boundaries, and ideals. Most of what people are doing here to each other, is not personal. Confusion, distortion, and delusion are rampant in the maze of the 3D matrix of reality. When we remember truth, when we heal, when we know better, we do better. We then see the problems in the structures of the maze itself, and discover we have had the way out of it inside us all along.

We also see the kinship we have with all life, and forgiveness becomes a natural part of who we are… We remember, we relate, and we release what holds us back. We know this act of freedom ripples out in ways that uplift many.

September closed out for me in deep surrender in the Dreamtime. I was with my family on the ocean, and many were gathered there. We were all called to make sacrifices to the water. Each of us knew what we needed to be willing to let go of, and we all went into the water to place our offerings. I had four, but the one that stood out in my waking memory was the grief and guilt I still held for one of my pets. The ocean of love wasn’t asking us to release things that we loved or cherished. We were being asked to surrender our pain. We ARE being asked to let go of our mental and emotional attachments and constructs that keep us in suffering. It was so beautiful to behold people of all faiths, cultures, ages, and walks of life, coming together to the water in reverence and willingness to lay down their burdens. Some of their hurts were their comforts and all they had known for a long time. I awoke with a specific pain in my heart, and as I insulated and filled it with love, I relinquished a distorted core belief in me that I carried and perceived for a long time. It was the belief that “Love isn’t real. Love isn’t safe, and others can’t be trusted. I will never have the love that I want.”  As the distortion unraveled, the love was able to be directed to all of the timelines, creations, and experiences it had affected. I was then able to clear it from my lineages, replacing it with the upgraded frequencies and templates of Divine Love. With transformation, comes more freedom and feeling, allowing more love to be present in all of my relationships and circumstances.

What will you sacrifice from September? Where can you acknowledge pain, attachments, or detrimental beliefs and habits in yourself that are in the way of you receiving and being love? Where are you called to surrender? Can you live in a state of surrender in life, trusting you are held and uplifted by love in each moment when you do? Do you trust love? Do you remember it as the truth of who you are?

I would love to hear from you about your September! Hoping to see you soon at the sacred waters of surrender.💙🧜‍♀️