As Mars and Venus came together recently in the cosmos, I began processing unresolved masculine pain physically. I have been healing, balancing, and upgrading the masculine and feminine in me for a long time. I wrote about the replacing of my toxic masculine prototype in my book TRUE LOVE NOT LIKE IN THE MOVIES. The beginning of the process was signaled in a dream, where I experienced many of my incarnations of struggle with men, and I held his archetypal form as he died in my arms. I understood what was unfolding, and watched my relationship with my husband heal ongoing to reflect these upgrades in me.
We continue to grow together, but the last two years have shifted my focus on the distorted feminine. She was disempowered, she was the “wounded victim,” she was angry, she was betrayed, she was jealous, and she was in competition with others while starved for nurturance. After many trials and consistent effort, I was blessed again in my dreamtime to hold two of her most painful symbolic representations as they died. These shifts cost me some relationships in physical life, but they have led to great liberation and peace inside.
These transitions are done with love, in a willingness to anchor new templates of creation and pathways of relationship on earth. Our imbalances and misunderstandings have led to great hardship. People are at odds with themselves and each other; over-complicating, over-identifying, and over-focusing on sexuality and gender, in ways that allow for mass abuse, manipulation, and trauma to be normalized.
As I deepen my relationship with myself and my ancestral inheritance, I realize how much we are carrying forward the burdens, pain, and unfinished longings of our elders. We need only recognize this in ourselves to set forth change in the lineal chain. We all carry masculine and feminine inside; our outer expression is a designed technology serving our purpose in this life. Our bodies work with us in our explorations and expansions when we recognize their capacity to do so. They are always working to achieve harmony and health, but will go according to the current settings, operating system, and environment. Change and redirection in these factors, encourages change in the form.
What we tell ourselves, what we believe, what we take in, and what we do, are all part of the settings. Our old worldview believed that we are at the whim of our genetics, but modern science is proving factors like positive or negative thinking, affects and changes them. Our world is expanding, and this will allow us to expand our archetypal and physical realm of experience and possibility.
As I began processing masculine pain, I felt HIS longing for nurturance and acceptance too. HE has suffered in the imbalance and is weary of conflict. He mourns his traditional roles being warped and misunderstood. As I cried in pain on my right breast, I was visited by a medieval knight in chainmail armor. He too was crying, and approached my chest to find a lock with a thick chain, attached to a metal breast plate covering that side of my chest. He went at the lock with force and opened it, removing the entire construct. I felt immediate relief and hugged him. I thanked him for protecting me all those years. I relieved him from his post and sent him to my heart for respite. He was truly tired of war and the vigilance and dissonance it required. I realized how much we relied upon the masculine to fulfill these roles, and then attacked them for the consequential effects that evidenced in them over time.
After that ceremony I noticed new sensations and feeling adjusting in both breasts as a result. My right back was moving tension, my breasts and nipples tender and sore. What we do intentionally in spirit affects our physical manifestation. If you work with your body this way, you can experience this for yourself. I also noticed a cramp in my left ovary that surfaced. When I connected to it, it said it was a STICKING POINT in my female line. There is a feminine energy holding itself back from the masculine, wanting HIS acknowledgment and experience of HER pain. It was not quite revenge; they spoke that they want HIM to “get it.” There is a mistrust because of feelings of violation. I surrendered my part in the ceremony, but it remained a little sore. I was told to enfold it in love and allow that to create safety and nurturance over time. The last thing I want to do is push or force aspects that have already been hurt that way. I speak lovingly to them, and am respectful of their timing and experiences. The energy shifted in two days.
That night my dreams took me to many underlying trapped feelings that were moving out. I was guided to another prayer ceremony when I woke. I used to do them as part of my daily practice at home, at my favorite places in nature, and in all the many of the places I visited. They always grounded me in joy and optimism that I was able to then share. There is a part of every one of us that loves acts of devotion. We see this played out in so many ways. Life is spirit, and everything is spiritual and sacred; we do not need to limit devotion to religion. We were trained to see the separation, which added to our perceived loss of spiritual connection and magic in our daily operations.
Prayer is our love language with creation. It is an interfacing with our universe, our source, our reality, and ourselves in many dimensions and expressions. There is a part of us united to all. We are no stranger to love or its alchemical forces. When we set forth an intention, an inquiry, or a possibility, we are always met with a response. We will see it as much as we are open to receiving it. Prayer is an act of love and devotion. My meditative walks are prayers; my prayer ceremonies are changing and fluid. I may speak, dance, sing, and make offerings; I may do them in a natural setting on the move. I allow other benevolent energies to join me in their offerings. Life is full of allies and expressions ready to help. What they can do and how they help is as diverse as what we see in form here.
In the ceremony with the knight, Eagle came too. He was flying high and assisting me in the implementation of higher thought forms and templates. He reminds me not to get entangled in the emotional dross that’s purging and dying. I left the ceremony to walk on the lakefront and an eagle showed up there to fly overhead. I later received confirmation from two friends that I prayed for, that he had visited them. One sent me an eagle meme she came across that inspired and validated what she was going through. Another had an eagle prince in a dream that helped her resolve an old attachment issue she struggled to make sense of prior. Eagle made his rounds further; I have no doubt. We can’t always see the total effect of the ripples we send out, but the act is most beneficial when not attached to a specific outcome. Our souls are anchored in trust, and as we deepen our devotion, we are too.
The next prayer portal brought in new energies and emissaries. One was an ancestor from India. He brought through a transmission to clear the perversions of suffering in devotion. This distortion has tainted all faiths, has infiltrated personal relationships, and has encouraged an addiction and worship of suffering that is falsely celebrated as honor. He gave me the expression “DEPRIVATION IS ILLUMINATION,” and if you think on this, you can see how this is a thread that has been woven into many earth tapestries of belief, religious, and authoritative systems.
The subversion of the feminine in these systems is part of this concept, as is the worship of an enlightened one, a guru, a pope, etc, where followers are encouraged to sacrifice and donate their energy to uplift another or receive favor. Rejection of the material, believing God can only come to those in a position of extreme humility, or the toxic relationship where one suffers for another believing it is how they prove their love, are a few examples. We have created badges of suffering to flex in the era of virtue signaling. If we open our eyes to this core distorted belief, we can see its offspring in many things. Ask yourself, how does this energy or idea land in you? Are you comfortable in owning your divine birthright or power? Is there a part of you that believes you can’t have too much, be too much, or that you must prove yourself to receive divine love? These things are subtle until you get beneath the surface and follow the thread. Talk to yourself and your world, and let prayer help you highlight your threads.
Suffering is a part of life, to deny its existence is delusional. As we have evolved on earth through the experience of separation and duality, we have accrued many misunderstandings and struggles that got compounded and distorted further over time. We have forgotten who we are, but that does not change the true nature of who we are. Our pockets of amnesia, trials, and fears are the energies we must face and traverse through to access our truth.
Our suffering can show us a path to inner liberation, but it is not a mandatory lifestyle to earn wings to heaven. My ancestor made it clear that humanity has gotten away from wisdom into the worship of struggle and violence as noble. This has allowed most to grow further from the higher frequencies of light and remembrance. Whatever it looks like on the surface, love is the true nature of life. To seek this part of yourself, you can simply choose love. You can shine love into your suffering without loving or inflating suffering as a badge of honor. You are more than your suffering and not defined by any physical labels, experiences, or limitations.
I pulled a few cards for my prayer altar as guided: one for the FEMININE, one for the MASCULINE, with a shared union card from the Magical Dimensions Oracle Deck. The card of union was DESTINY. It relates to living our authentic purpose and is associated with a forest rose ray of light.
As I brought my prayer into physical exercise at HOTWORX, I was visited by a beautiful pink fairy bestowing a mauve pink light. I felt it enter my root energy center at my bottom while I was seated. I then experienced a variety of wildflowers rise, grow, and bloom out of that center up through my entire body. At my heart, was a rose in bloom. As this was unfolding, I was filled with the natural bliss and peace of existence. There is an elemental joy in being alive; an inherent joy that celebrates and adores creation.
Devotion is a natural state. I was filled with a deep knowing that we are our purpose. When we live authentically, everything we do is fulfilling our destiny. When we love something, it may inspire us to sacrifice something in the spirit of giving, but true giving and sacrifice is an offering of love not suffering. True giving is from a flowing well, not an obligation of limitation or reciprocation.
Unconditional love is what connects us all. When we share our flow with another, we are more not less. Devotional practices and attitudes must be updated to reflect our true heritage and energetic existence. The beautiful prayer transmissions reminded me of how powerful it is to be on the receiving end of love. It inspired me to ask, what is possible if everyone engaged daily in a devotional practice with the earth? A true loving exchange, not a practice from the place of an empty well in need of salvation or redemption, but more of a conversation between two lovers, or a bee’s revel in a flower. What if we all offer adoration and devotion to the earth herself, via our immediate landscapes? What if we love her as a sovereign and sentient being, not from a position of worry or fear, scarcity, or superiority? What if we relate to her instead, in the spirit of acknowledgement and gratitude. We are not here to dominate and control nature, we are in an interdependent loving relationship and kinship.
As if in response to that sentiment, my ceremony this morning followed that thread. It started with an emotional full moon release of sorrow. As I opened ceremony, I was brought to address the wound of rejection. As I sang prayers of forgiveness and peace, I had a new visitor. It is common for me to sit with the Earth as a woman during my meditative journeys. She is always with me, sometimes showing up in various phases of her growth and changes.
Today as she and I were singing, we were joined by her beloved masculine aspect FATHER EARTH. I was ecstatic! This has never happened, even though I am fully aware of addressing the duality in all things on earth. His arrival brought many tears of gratitude and a feeling of wholeness. I had dreamt last week of preparing my home for a wedding. I saw myself create an altar, and the dawning arrived that a sacred marriage is underway. He landed with a heat in the body and a passion to be present. I was guided to surrender and clear old collective narratives about the earth and her enslavement. He confirmed what she has always told me prior; the earth is a sentient sovereign being in a cycle of growth and transformation. She does not need our pity, fear, guilt, or shame. She wants love, respect, and allies that support her process. We are rising together. Our mastery of ourselves and our energy contribution, is a great service to her. Right action naturally follows right alignment. As the frequency of love rises on earth, restoration is an organic outcome. We are vessels of this change, so our commitment to divine alignment and embodiment is what helps facilitate this on earth. We are not separate.
My exchanges with earth and nature have been joyous and mutualistic on my path of love. In light of the intensity of the times, I am re-engaging in my daily offerings of formal ceremony and prayer. I don’t need anything. I don’t want anything. I am simply a lover and admirer of life in all its expressions. I know I am here to walk with love, and it is my sincerest hope that love and peace become the reality in which we all live on earth. There are many paths of wisdom and expressions of devotion. I invite you to celebrate yours, and to offer it to everything you meet. Share it with the passions closest to your heart. Let it light up your part of the tapestry here on earth.
Imagine what’s possible when Earth and her children create and live from a place of wholeness. We can give and live from that dream now. Let your vessel be a house of joy. Let yourself explore. Let what delights you change. Let it move. Let it grow. Then let it go. Release it into your world and watch it transform as you do. Love is our ultimate destiny, and we are closing in on the illusory gap.
Share your heart, share your voice, share your joy, share your dreams! We are called to create change, not reinforce same I love you 🌹🕊
Happy Full Moon in Virgo! 🌝💙
Category: Blog
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