Evoking Eclipse Blessings
April sprung immediately from the rebirth of Easter in the center of an eclipse window. The lunar eclipse on March 25th pulled me out of sleep with my heart pounding. In its wake, I purged more of my heart’s wounding illuminated in detail in my sleep. Many dreams additionally showed me the physical steps that would follow to facilitate the resolution.
In several I was a queen partnered with a king. In one, I was in a time of war advising him to utilize compassion in the face of a threatening revolt. In another I was both an advisor and the queen, and I was performing a scan on my queen self, unveiling puppet strings, boobytraps, attachments, and other negative interfering energies/constructs. This allowed me to then address them physically in the form of blocks, misaligned relationships, and distorted narratives and imprints ready to be released.
I actually felt the shackles and cords surface in my body as they were able to be dismantled. Some of these mechanisms were part of situations I was aware of and working on for some time; some were imprinted from people and situations I would have not perceived harmful. As we expand, we just move beyond perceived limitations. We don’t have to see this as good or bad. We live in constructs of perception and density that allow us to grow through circumstances and experiences catered to our soul’s choices and evolution. We are designed to change stories, boundaries, and experiences. We are here to remember ourselves as unlimited love, and it gets easier as we release judgment.
Whatever we have put off in feeling and acceptance in the way of love eventually comes to call. Our perspective and approach greatly influence how we move through these cycles. If we work with ourselves lovingly and trust our place in life, it is less scary. As we allow ourselves to feel what we may have avoided or forgotten, the charge and reactivity in us diminishes over time. Once emptied and understood, a new choice and outcome become available. We no longer stay looped to the same, reminding and warning ourselves of what we fear will come to pass. We experience ourselves as having been there and done that, no thank you, and no need to repeat. We are wiser and less moved by any resurgence or reminder.
As love in form, we have perceived our separation from source awareness fearfully and painfully at times. When these experiences are compounded in ignorance, we have wounds that are often pervasive and disruptive. We have collectively forgotten our connection to life and our unity with all things. We often focus on our personal trials in a disempowered state, forgetting we are the creators of our reality.
This eclipse window brought me a gallery of experiences that involved different times, scenarios, and players in my life, but as I approached the solar eclipse on April 8th, I was shown they all sprouted from one underlying vein of distortion. Many doctrines refer to this phenomenon as a core wound or core belief. It is an underlying foundational energy that manifests many offshoots of perspective and experience.
I have experienced shame as long as I can remember. It has always been a backdrop of my identity. I can see now how many of my experiences have manifested from this feeling of worthlessness. No matter what I accomplished or was told, I could not connect to the good in me. I could not believe I was loveable. There were early childhood traumas seemingly validating these feelings in my young mind. Knowing they were wrong, doesn’t take away the experience of the feeling.
As I accept and allow this to be a part of my human experience, it has less effect on me. I spent a lot of my younger years running from pain and chasing highs in the external world. Operating from “If I accomplish this, I will have/feel that. If I have this, I will know I am that.” It never came to fruition in the ways I expected or desired of course. Ironically, I am far happier now having explored and embraced the darker depths of myself.
As I have allowed and processed the passage of all pains and negative projections, I know I am love. In my willingness to continually surrender to the greater forces operating in my life, I know I am loved. I realize my ignorance will always sell myself short. My fragmentation will limit my perspective often, but the need to be right can be surrendered too. I can forgive the betrayals or rejections of others, understanding they arose out of this foundational distortion. Ultimately, I come to see this as reflections of self-rejection and betrayal, and endeavor in forgiving myself. I commit to loving and honoring myself more, to re-establish a healthier core setting that shifts my reality over time.
Peace comes from living in unconditional love and awareness of self. What I perceive as disruptive is only reflecting something left unresolved or unexplored in me. If I shift my focus to my inner journey and commit to mastering my energy in all its distortions and contributions, I am less affected by the external instability. I know my job is to stabilize myself as a contribution.
This eclipse passage has helped me close a significant chapter of my past peacefully. I am relieved of thoughts and attachments that once seemed so important and detrimental. I have removed “villain” and “hero” from my story entirely, recognizing they are perspectives that are relative too. I realize the judgments of others were really reflecting my own, and that when I am deeply committed and solid in myself, they lack any power at all. I have reinforced my commitment to myself; I will love and sustain myself so thoroughly that it will be the only reality returned.
This is not done out of selfishness, because I recognize my connection to others and respect their sovereignty. I can love what I don’t agree with or fully understand. I also know I am responsible for my creations and not at the whim of any one else’s version of reality. I am still integrating parts of myself in a new way. Some of these aspects were ostracized and guarded against out of past hurt and fear, some are parts of me in other dimensions. As I prayed during this time, allies came with gifts.
One was a multicolored, iridescent dragon that immediately smoothed out my energy fields and lower four body system. It felt like reflective, rainbow shining layers or coats were painted on parts of me, sealing and protecting me in all dimensions. I was self-contained and sustained in a way, and any conflicting energy sent would be returned in a peaceful manner. The dragon let me know it would help others see their own reflection in me positively and help me move through any outer chaos with ease. I was reminded this is a dragon aspect of me, and that I need to remember the things I often see as higher guidance or beings, are often parts of myself in those dimensions. This is true for all. This is true for the earth energies too. The ocean always laughs at me when I thank her as a separate entity. We are the world.
As humanity evolves, it will transcend its attachment to a polarized and divisive reality. We will go beyond our perceived limitations and fragmentation in recognition of our place in the unified field of creation and awareness. This occurs in each as part of the one. As more choose to forgive and accept any opposition as part of themselves in a field of totality, resistance and conflict will give way to transmutation and transformation. We cannot change or heal what we deny, refuse, or oppose.
Love is encompassing and uplifting. Love is the glue that unites and ignites new creative openings. In love the two come together to create three; the three containing the essence of the two but expanding upon that union to present something of its own.
Love beholds us beyond our wounds of separation. Love knows where we outgrow the limitations in understanding and fear. Love remembers who we are and is patiently waiting for humanity to recognize itself.
When we are at war with ourselves, we are at war with others. When we dehumanize and disregard parts of ourselves, we do it to others. When we forgive ourselves, we do so with others. When we connect to the light in ourselves, we are then able to connect to it in others. We are not limited by any external opinions, judgments, or choices unless we so choose.
Those that fail to see the darkness in themselves, are easily snared by its existence and manipulation in “others.” They are unable to recognize how their wounds are exploited and weaponized. Their uncertainty in themselves perpetuates fear and perceived threats in their external reality. Meet all facets of yourself with acceptance and love. Only then can you truly find peace and compassion in a world in flux. You will then attract and reflect this in your reality and leave everyone to their own beautiful process and purpose. Everyone plays a unique part in the overall tapestry of life.
What humanity needs now is love.
What the world needs now is love.
This eclipse window concludes with a new moon, inviting us to start a new chapter in life in some way. What if we intend to create a reality based on love? What if we choose love as our guiding force and principle? Can we simply invite it, remember it, recover it, discover it, embrace it, breathe it, be it, and live it as ourselves?
New ways are being implemented now to transcend the stagnation and conflicts of old. Can LOVE find its home and ally in you?
